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“Seriously, I am so confused than I have ever been..”
I have asked for this for the longest time, and now that I have had my prayers answered why is it that I am still having mixed emotions about all these? I mean, I am finally home, I have my dog with me, I am a bit free to do what ever I want every night (just via net) — but I’m not happy. WHY??
You know, I have been thinking alot about these and maybe its because I came from a three-year-live-away-from-home life that I am having a hard time coping up with my life back here at home. I thought that if I come back home, my life would have less pressure but as it turns out, its just the same and now I don’t know what to ask anymore.
A year and a half ago I wanted to come home because I want to have a job and to try to live my dreams, be free, meet new friends, find that someone I am destined to be with and just be with my family and be happy. But now, two months and counting from the day my wish was granted I want to have a job so I could come back to live again with sleepy and just be free.
I am so confused - so confused that even if I’m home I’d stay inside my room, cry at night (sometimes) and just talk to myself and promise myself that everything’s going to be just fine and that things would somehow turn out the way I have imagined it to be..