My two-year, year-ender written whilst feeling under the weather on the 31st of December 2015.
Actually, I could not specifically remember 2014 as vivid;
my mind probably chose to forget the details as it felt too disappointing to even remember. But definitely had as much as the count of my heartbeat to thank for.
2015 on the other hand is the year where I literally felt that my world has gone too small.
Too small to even want go out and enjoy or just do errands. Anger and emotional stress (because of anger) is what it was made of for me.
I guess I went through my mid-life crisis (seeing close friends and people who used to be special to me get married and have kids) thinking how my life could be as happy and normal as theirs if I was walking on a different path and not the one I am stepping on right now.
A year where I’ve sent like a gazillion CVs for dream jobs that I never received answers from or if I did it would be a sorry letter because I lived too far
A year where I felt that even if I wished and prayed until my eyes and heart fall off, nothing gets answered or even heard — up until 1/4 of last year’s days were over.
BUT just like in Perrin Lamb’s song Little bit, “there is a little bit of sunshine in all you (we) do..”
SO, in the same year I was able to enroll in a boxing gym
worked out for about 5 months and lost 15 lbs. , acquired a car and learned how to drive, became a godmother to the first born of my favorite partner-in-crime which I guess sealed our friendship forevs.. We (sleepy and I) are also expecting… not a baby but a sealed deal for a project which hopefully opens many more continuous opportunities and hoping to land him a regular job.
So YES!, I am still standing. Firmly. But hoping
like I always hope every coming year that things would turn out better — really better. I still believe and will ALWAYS believe, that GOD is greater than all my worries, fears, doubts and problems and am thankful for everything that happened last year.
I claim that the best is yet to come for me this 2016!