Ugh, stressed

Feeling a bit stressed this week not just because of work (a good thing though, since it has been a while) but of the car-thing coming up so fast.. Times like this, reminds me to ask why time flies so fast. 

Anyway, this week also, I finally decided to jump in and join the band wagon of people trying out something to make themselves lose weight. Exactly my third day on my road to fitness journey (the BeFab way) and I feel like nothing has changed yet, but I am slowly being able to control my food cravings (so yay!). I hope this pays off because I want to be how I used to be 9 years ago (I think).

Also just finished watching the whole 7 seasons of Pretty Little Liars and am missing them like heaps but I am not a big fan of how it ended (that would be on another blog).

I feel blessed though that I think, I finally found a small company who could give me continuous freelance projects for extra income. Projects have been slowly coming in and I hope the company booms so that Ill get showered with more projects from them (keeping my fingers crossed).

Thats it for now, Ill update soon.

Le dream

Good morning!

Its that dream again – the dream that feels so real like it really happened but when you wake up you are just left with the feeling of its touch on your skin.

I haven’t had this dream for years and I am wondering why it happened again. Actually, I am wondering what it really means.

This time its buddy. With him just holding my hand when we went to a museum-like place and while looking at all the exhibits he suddenly holds my hand, not letting it go even if we had to keep other people from seeing it. There was also a look in his eyes that’s like telling me its “ok” and it somehow comforts me. When I woke up, I can still feel his skin on my hand.

That dream was just so weird and comforting at the same time because I haven’t really had a decent conversation with buddy, especially now that he has a girlfriend. I haven’t even though about him for a long time.

I hope I know what it means. Is it just my subconscious mind taking over – am I secretly longing for him to come back in my life? Or is it him thinking about me and somehow I felt it? Is he thinking and or dreaming about me too?

7th

Oh hello.

Its July and nothing significant has happened yet except that the car-thing and the money-thing has subsided and put to halt for another month. Which reminds me, I really NEED an extra gig right now. It makes me furious everytime I remember how Upwork kicked me out of their system. They really have their way of ruining others lives and it sucks because its unfair!

On the other hand, I found a way to somehow take my mind off of my stressors (somehow) by watching Pretty Little Liars. It’s so good and I know Im sooo late to appreciate (like 4 Seasons late) BUT it is so good. Brings back a whole lot of young-feels memories when life seemed so highschool-life-complicated.

I miss how my life was like before. Oh well.

Anybody in here knows the best replacement for Upwork. Please!

2nd of june

Yesterday I received a letter from one of the site’s I use as a platform for getting some of my freelance works. Its actually my favorite site and even if it evolved in so many ways and changed their fees to a point where it almost hurts, I loved it. But out of nowhere they sent me an email that my account was suspended PERMANENTLY. 

Ive read that quite a few times where they just kick freelancers out just like that. I guess I was a bit confident that it won’t happen to me and shrugged it off.. I never believed they could do that because Ive been with them for years and although I never received kudos or friendship from them, they were good – or so I think.

I fought for it because I knew in my heart that I do not deserve it. But when they responded that their decision was FINAL, I was just dumbfounded and hella sad. Its utterly disappointing because, although I am not a top freelancer, I worked hard to earn a good reputation FOR YEARS and it was not an easy road to take..

Now it feels like they just took a part of me and my career away. Its so heartbreaking but I guess it was not worth fighting for because they are just a bunch of close minded freaks. 

Im moving on and this is my final goodbye to my Upwork account that Ive held on to for so long.

De-activating my account in a few. 

😦

Best sax ever!

Actually a late post but I still can’t get enough of it. This is so far the best thing that ever happened this year.

Kenny G! in Manila and I got to watch it with sleepy – our very first concert date. I have only dreamed of being in Kenny G’s concert and it FINALLY came true! I can’t believe it!! One marked out of my bucket list!

I’ve been a big fan ever since I was in HS and listening to him over speakers or headphones is totally, totally, totally different from listening and seeing him perform live.. It gives me shivers and goosebumps especially when they played “Titanic’s themesong” — OMG! With all those lights and fog effects!

Although it was kind of sad because instead of sharing the extra tickets with my sister, I shared it with the daughters (which is why I pray that things will get better soon and acceptance be near) and that the concert was delayed by an hour and a half, the night is still super special – because I am with mi amore and Kenny! Truly unforgetable and amazing!

Nevermind eating late dinner at McDonald’s after the concert wearing “concert attires” hahaha..

Also my first time enjoying the perks (getting free passes) of working in the broadcast industry and it is well worth it..

More to come please!

Cheers to my 31st!

Since my birth-month is nearing its end, I would like write my birthday blog before I forget about it again.

Woooh! 31. Time flies. And like what I normally do during my birthday, I spend a whole lot of time re-reading past blogs and thinking about my what-could-haves and soon after feeling victorious about what I have achieved and what I have become. 

A friend told me that it was kind of sadistic of me to keep doing that because it reminds me time and again about events that hurt me more than the happy days of my life. I agree, but I always liked remembering because somehow thats what keeps me going. It makes me feel sad on my happy month but a few days after a gush of happiness fills my heart because I made it! I’m not sure if that makes sense to others but it does to me. 

So this year, I realized I am heaps older and I’d like to think wiser than when I first decided to start blogging. I’ve revamped this blog quite a few times and until now its kind of still unsuccessful hahaha.. I would love to be successful this year.

Nothing too grand for my birthday but it was special because I was able treat my sister out for lunch. She gave me a pair of cute silver sandals, which I still haven’t used yet and my parents and my sleepy greeted me. And that was more than enough for me.

I have lived 31 years with God beside me and I intend to keep it that way because He makes things better all the time.

Cheers to more years, ’twas a happy birthday indeed.

❤ 

Happy heart’s day

Heart’s day this year is super simple for me.

I guess its true that when you are with someone for a really long time, its the little things that they do that touches the very core of your heart.

Normal day — nothing grand and we both went off to do our normal routines after greeting each other Happy Valentines for like more than 5 times (at different situations). I was not really expecting any form of celebration or gift from him but at the end of the day he still gave me a rose and we ate.

My dad, mom and well I was the one who greeted my sister also sent love greeting to each other.

Though these are super simple gestures, my heart was full that day and I felt true happiness – especially at a time when you feel that love and happiness was too far to reach.

He also prayed again that day and it felt so good because I know that his faith was still there – weak and struggling, but its still there and that is more than enough for me.

Thank you Lord.